Dying to see you, but it shouldn't be like this...♥

Just got my wisdom teeth out. *sniff* :'( Ouch.

I have black hair -__- I didn't want black hair, but I have it. Not that it looks bad it's just...THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED!!!!!!! Gah. Oh well. It was supposed to be a darker brown but somehow turned out black.  But oh well, I'll work it ;) I'm Emily God dammnit! no hair colour is gonna keep me back. Besides, arn't black haired chicks supposed to be all mysterious and whatnot? ;) Pictures soon, just thought I'd warn y'all in advance.

My 100th journal! Huh. Just writing cause it actually is my hundreth, but might as well update whoever gives a shit about what happens in my life :)
Ummm first year of high school (starts in grade 10 here), pretty fucking sweet. Went to my first high school dance while actually being in highschool. Verrrrrry nice. Those Brizilians are FANTASTIC dancers ;) God I love foreign exchange students...♥
Got back together with an old boyfriend, realized that boyfriends just bug the crap out of me and dumped him in the nicest way possible. Watched him basically have animal sex with some skank at the dance, but eh, who am I to say anything when I was with about 7 or 8 guys. Didn't even know half their names ! ;) But at least I can dance...
When I have boyfriends, I feel like they smother me, like somebody wraps my head in a big wool blanket -_- such an unpleasant feeling. *sigh* I dont know. Everybody says that me and one of the boys who broke my heart are the same person when it comes to dating. We flirt with everyone and can't deal with anything serious. They say that we'd be perfect for each other, but I've already been down that road and dont know if I want to do that again...
My freind wants someone who smothers her, I want someone who will back the fuck off. Jeez...
Hmmm what else? I'm excited for Halloween! Thinking of going as a nurse cause that's the only outfit in my garage =/ Oh and I'm obsessed (again) with the songs from Jesus Christ Superstar. Ahhh...soooo good and sad :(
Well, that's about it. I should do these more often It's nice to get everything off your chest ;)
Night!
xo
xacidxrain

At least I've got my (new) prized Hooters tank top on ;) It makes everything better/easier. Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined.

I also bought a new hat today. That cheered me up some.

Honestly, I have no luck. None whatsoever with boys. I don't even know why I even bother. Seriously. All that happens is I get my (already smashed and glued back together) heart stomped on. Really, it's unfair to be as unlucky as me. It's actually like a handicap =/

Let's hope I don't go nuts like I did last time. Who knows? I dont much care. I'm tough so I'll be fine in a little (long) while, but I'm not thinking about then, just now and the only thing I can think is "Damn this hurts."

I think the last time this happened toughened me up, because I didn't even cry (as much?). Figures that they're best friends and both think it's alright to screw me over.

I don't know why I even bothered to think you were different. *sigh* here come the walls, even higher and thicker than before. I will NOT let this happen to me again.

I'm just so busy. I shouldn't be 'cause it's summer, but this is turning into one of the best summers I've ever had because so far it's just been go, go, go! Lakes, pools, rooftop tanning, topless tanning (tee hee!), shopping till I drop, new shoes, flip flops, new cell phones, hours spent whispering and trading secrets into the early morning, all nighters, skinny dipping, drinking, dancing,  flirting, falling, loving and just for the first time, actually taking time off from worrying about everything and just having FUN. For the first summer since I was about 10, I've just dropped everything and am just enjoying my time off and spending it with the people I love and who love me. I'm so happy to have so many good people in my life, and I'm so damn lucky to have people who care about me and about what happens to me.

It was a stressful, very eventful year, a complete emotional rollercoaster. I hit rock bottom when I was busted for drugs in school and was abandoned by the person I loved, but I'm a tough little bitch and I made it out alive! Clawed and scratched my way back up to the top of the pile where I belonged. Got over that damn boy and managed to remian good friends with him as well. I'm finally getting my shit together, growing up and man does it ever feel good! I'm very happy with the way my life is going now. I may not have a boyfriend, but I've got someone who likes me and is sweet and kind and cares enough about me to want to keep me safe, I've got friends who want only the best for me, a family that loves me lots, and a killer tan :)

I couldn't be happier.

Love,

xacidxrain

Aww Shin actually looks like a boy and not like teenage girl in my class :)


Badass
O_O Yum.
Fierce
<------Leona Lewis! Looking good Shin
Yes, Kiro is rockin' the cowboy boots while Luminor works some curiously high waisted pants...



Hurray for pants so tight they look like leggings! ♥

Tight pants on Shin and Strify= So much ♥&sex!
Is it me or lately has Shin been looking a little more tanked out and manly? Mmmmmm

Cuuuuute!

I think my camera broke :( Not cool man... I don't know if the parents will spring for a new one so who knows what's going to happen...maybe it's not broken? I think it is, but I can hope!

 Amazing, amazing, amazing, awesome! I'm so happy about this! It's so cool that they're so tolerarent over there. I'm completely loving this idea :)

Cross-dressing teens get own school bathroom
Thai officials launch 'transvestite toilet' in bid to cope with growing need

A secondary school in rural Thailand has designed a new bathroom that it calls a "transvestite toilet" for its growing community of cross-dressers.

The Kampang School in northeastern Thailand conducted a survey last term that showed more than 200 of the school's 2,600 students considered themselves transvestites, said school director Sitisak Sumontha.

So, when classes resumed in May, the school unveiled a unisex restroom designated by a human figure split into two, half man in blue, and half female in red. Below the figure, it says, "Transvestite Toilet."

Three transgender students praised the new restroom as they plucked their eyebrows and applied face powder in front of the mirror outside the stalls.

Tolerant
"I'm so happy about this," Vichai Sangsakul, a teenager with a pixie hairdo pulled back with a pink barrette, told Thailand's PBS new channel on Tuesday. "It looks bad going to female restrooms. What would other people think?"

Most rural Thais are conservative in many ways, but the trailblazing toilet initiative at the school in northeastern Sisaket province reflects another aspect of Thai society: its tolerance of the country's very visible transsexual and transvestite community.

"These students want to be able to go to the restroom in peace without fear of being watched, laughed at or groped," said school director Sitisak Sumontha. Using female restrooms made some of the other students uncomfortable and using the men's room often resulted in harassment, he said.

'Uneasy'
"They don't have problems with transvestites but going to the same private area, like a toilet, makes them uneasy," he said. "The transvestite kids may behave even more effeminately than the girls, do but their anatomy is still like that of a boy."

He said the concept reflected a growing need at Thai schools and universities.

Kampang is not Thailand's first educational institution to set up transvestite washrooms, though Sitisak said he believed it was a first for a secondary school. A 1,500-student technical college in the northern province of Chiang Mai set up a "Pink Lotus Bathroom" for its 15 transvestite students in 2003.

Deputy Education Minister Boonlue Prasertsopar recently said the ministry plans to count the number of transvestite university students.

He said he was not promoting trans-gender interests, "but if there are a lot of them in a university and it's a problem, we may have to consider building toilets and dormitories for them."

Transsexuals and transvestites are regularly seen on TV soap operas and throughout Bangkok, working at department store cosmetics counters, popular restaurants, in office jobs and in the capital's red-light districts. Thailand also has a trans-gender beauty pageants.

I love it. Such a fantastic idea and I 100% support it. I guess the world is moving forward and slowly becoming a great (and more tolerent) place. I'm glad. Maybe America and everywhere else will catch on soon? I doubt it, but here's hoping!

This completely rocks my socks :)

Love,

xacidxrain

Christ on a bike! I hate when people have eight million fucking things in their shout out box. Videos full scale pictures eight  THOUSAND little fucking moving icons that take seventy years to load on my damn computer and just when I think they've all loaded and I try to scroll down to the bottom, NO. My screen starts moving up by itself because it's too damn slow and forgot to load seventy thousand more little fucking blinky icons that do nothing but piss me off.  I know I have a few on my page, but Jesus I should have to scroll for six hours to see how many friends you have...*grumbles*

Buuuuuuut on the plus side I'm leaving for Quebec in 35 minutes. Just think, 6 of my best friends, 4 chaperones, and all the sexy French boys I can handle (and believe me, that is a lot)


Oo la la! ♥

xacidxrain     

Funny how things can go so far downhill when you think it's smooth sailing from there on out. But that's beside the point. So anyway, I had taken a little break from Buzznet and whoo hoo I'm back. I'll start uploading pictures again as soon as my camera charges, so I guess that's a good thing. I don't really feel like typing anymore or being sarcastically funny or anything really except maybe crying. I have never been so lonely as I was the other day when I was in the stall, on the floor crying with no one there.
It sounds stupid, but he took all the colour from my life and I don't know how or when I'll get it back.
God, how completely tragic is that? I hate that I feel like this. I despise the fact that I let some boy drag me so far down when I'm usually such a strong and independant girl. Certain things remind me of him and I have to get rid of them because it hurts way too much. I'm disgusting myself at how broken up I am over him, but I guess I've found out what can bring me to my knees, what makes people finally step back and say, "Okay, she is human."
It's pathetic and I'm ashamed, but I'm actually still so in love with him it's insane.
Ugh. It makes me sick
Love,
xacidxrain

Pretty self explanatory. I don't want to talk about it.

My brother, you love her
But don't give up your instincts
Hang onto you know what
They'll be gone fast as you blink
They're trained to seduce you
Suck you dry quick as they can
They tried to reduce you
Now you're barely a man

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

Hey you
You're saying that she's all that you desire
Liar
Hey you
You think you can throw water on this fire
Liar

It's not wrong to let go
And let the woman ride you
For fuck sake, don't lose touch
With the dog that's inside you
She wanted what you had
You bet she smelt the spore
Don't give up, fuck her up
One more time, slam that door

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

Hey you
You're saying that she's all that you desire
Liar
Hey you
You think you can throw water on this fire
Liar

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

Hey you
You're saying that she's all that you desire
Liar
Hey you
You think you can throw water on this fire
Liar

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

I'm going to be taking a little break from Buzznet for the next couple of days I think. It's not for any bad reasons though. No one on here has been rude to me or anything, in fact it's the complete opposite. Everyone's been fantastic, but the thing is I'm honestly really really happy now since me and him are back on very good terms (Oo la la ;D) and I just want to enjoy it as much as I can. I'm going to be spending a lot of time with him I hope and so that'll be why I won't be posting much. I just want to savor it because I don't know how long it's going to last. I've only got less than a month of school left, I'm on my way into high school (starts at grade 10 here...), I'm going on a trip soon, and I've been spending a lot more time with that special boy...♥ I want these next few weeks to be some of my best and funnest, so I'm going to be trying to live them to the fullest and so sadly,  I don't think I'll have much time for Buzznet :( But it'll be good for me.
So, I'll see you all in a few days, unless something goes wrong and I cave ;)
Love,
xacidxrain

Yay! I love haircuts. Just in time too cause it was getting way too damn long. Too much work to straighten. I'll post pictures when I get back ;)

I'm only at my happiest when I'm with him. This is really bumming me out. I want to be around him every second and if he isn't around it's like all the world loses it's colour. I dont know why everyone makes this love thing out to be so great all the time, cause it really isn't =/ Some times it just plain sucks, but then there's other times when it's all hips, legs, skin, touch, breath and it's amazing. I don't like being up and down like this. It's a pain in my ass
                                                           I
                                                        Need
                                                           A
                                                        Break...

Tonight should decide it all once and for all. One of us is going home in tears, and it will not be me. That sounds cold, but that's what you get when you want to party with an ice queen. I'm going to try my hardest and if it isn't good enough...well, I don't want to think about that.

Wish me luck!

*fingers crossed*

xacidxrain

I just noticed all of these things today, and fuck do they ever make me mad!

3. People who either take up the whole damn hallyway at school, or they spread themselves out along the whole width of the hall and walk as SLOW as physically possible- Wow guys come on! Don't be such ass wipes! If I say excuse me, I expect you to move out of my freaking way! Clearly I need to be somewhere and took the time to say excuse me instead of just boot fucking you in the back of the head, so the least you could do is let me pass.

2. Fucking laptop keyboards- Wow. Every single key is overly sensitive EXCEPT for the shift? Do you know how many fucking capitals are needed to write something halfway decent and seem halfway intelligent in the process?!? A lot! And do you know how many times I had to backspace a mile because an "I" wasn't capitalized?!? A whole damn lot!!! Jesus...

1. Shit ass made dollar store underwear- Dude, just because I buy some underwear that costs a dollar at the Dollar Store, doesn't mean I don't want my undies made with the same quality! And people who occasionally buy thongs at the Dollar Store do not have ridiculously long vaginas, so why the FUCK would you make the crotch on a pair a mile long? That, Dollar Store chains around the world, is my question. Fucking ridiculous. Why should I pay a shitload of money for the exact same pair of underwear when I can get them for a dollar at the D.S? Because they give all the reject ones to the D.S I guess because no one can make a pair of underwear that shittily. It must go something like this: Joe: "Oh hell! Dave, get a look at these! *pulls out mishappen pair of underwear* Ahahaha! These are definitely going to the Dollar Store, because that is where all the people with random and freakish shaped vag's shop. Someone will fit into these...." No Joe, you dumbass. If you'd ever seen another vagina other than your mothers, you'd know that NO ONES vag looks like that dammit!

Phew. I feel pretty good now

Love,

xacidxrain

 

Like this one:


Check them out if you feel like it :) I'm in the process of moving them all into their own folder so you don't have to sort through all my other shit ;)

Love,
xacidxrain

Why are all guys asshats? And more importantly, why is it I'm the one who ALWAYS falls for the asshats and gets my heart ripped out, put through the shredder, stomped on, fed to a cat, hacked up, and lit on fire(as gross as that sounds)?

Oh and boys, if you take offense to me calling you all asshats, do something to prove me wrong, because right now, the only boy I like is my bffae (lol) Craig. He is the only boy who is not a douche bag. I'm not sad anymore, I'm so angry it's ridiculous. He wants to go toe to toe with me? Fine. I'll grab a pair of my dads steel-toed boots and stomp on his balls.

I fucking hate boys and I don't care if his arms are as big as my head, I think I might just beat the shit out of him on Tuesday(Stupid long weekend...)

Love,

xacidxrain

Why does it always have to go so bad, so fast?